I talk too much. You might call me an “over-sharer”. I’m frequently walking away from a conversation thinking “why did I tell him/her all of that?” And when my husband and I have a disagreement, what do you think I want to do (once I’ve gotten over the urge to throw something)? You guessed it! I want to talk it out.
Talking out your feelings isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but you’ve got to take a closer look at your motivation. Is “talking” just another way of rehashing the argument in hopes of convincing your hubby to see the light? Or perhaps you need him to understand how you are feeling so that he learns to change his behavior in order to prevent pushing that same button in the future. Do you see the pattern? Are you trying to change something about him?
He’s a great big news flash for all of us…
WE CANNOT CHANGE ANOTHER PERSON
I’m sorry to have to be the one to say it, but it’s true, no matter how much you think he needs changing. However, there are 2 important things to point out that can give you hope.
1. You can change yourself. You can change the way you think about and talk to your husband. It all starts with prayer. Which brings me to the second point…
2. God can cause people to change. When you pray, start by praying to be the wife God intended. Pray that He will soften your heart and allow you to see your man the way He designed him. Then, and only then, can you start praying for ways you’d like to see your husband grow. What you’ll find over time is that, as your view changes to be more like his Father’s, the things you pray for will change too.
Don’t get discouraged if your marriage isn’t all unicorns and rainbows right off the bat. Marriage after divorce is hard. Blending a family takes time and effort. There will still be times you wish you could just wave a magic wand and turn your man into the Prince Charming you’ve been dreaming of. But I promise you this, God’s plan for your marriage is far more fulfilling than any fairy tale. He knows your story from beginning to end. Are you ready to turn the page and embrace the adventure? Good, me too! Then let’s all start by closing our mouths and opening our hearts.
(for more on the topic of talking too much, see my post Over-Sharing)