Over-sharing

(archived from Nov. 4, 2012)

I talk too much…and I love it!  Talking to people is how I express myself, how I learn about them, how I pass the time.

But sometimes I catch myself over-sharing, especially with my 13 year old. He was the man in my life when I felt alone in the world. But he is not a man. He’s a kid, and now that I’m remarried I have a man. So it’s time to learn to shut up.

Of course I still love to talk to my son. What I mean is that I am learning to be careful and think before I speak, especially if I’m annoyed with my husband.

Our children need to feel safe. They need to know that families aren’t going to fall apart every time their parents/step-parents have an argument. One way I’ve found to preserve my children’s sense of safety is to keep my mouth shut when I’m annoyed with my husband. They don’t need to know every time he irritates me. I’m sure they can tell when I’m being snippy, but if I start whining about him leaving dirty socks on the floor or spending a beautiful afternoon holed up in the garage watching football, what I might be doing is making them nervous about the stability of our marriage.

So instead I start the laundry, take the kids on a bike ride, and save the conversation for my husband in private to let him know all the ways he ticked me off today.

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