My husband and I are SO different. He loves sports. I think listening to a ball game on the radio ranks right up there with having a fork stuck in my eye. The reverse is true for musical theater. I mean, how can he not love a good musical, right?!
To me, a fun weekend is packed full of adventures to art festivals and 5K’s and get-togethers with friends. He would rather rest and relax from the hectic week.
And forget about picking a movie! He likes lots of action and shooting and gotta have Clint Eastwood thrown in for good measure. I prefer an intricate story line with an uplifting message. The only way to watch a movie together – compromise.
Every blender mom knows about compromise. But every once in a while it bugs me. I wonder, “How can 2 people stay together if they don’t want to do any of the same things?”. That happened this morning and for about 20 minutes I went down that dangerous thought spiral. But then I caught myself.
This is the important thing I want to share. This is what I’m learning about my negative thoughts. I can control them! It’s not easy, because sometimes I think we actually enjoy wallowing in self pity. “Oh, why doesn’t he love me enough to love all the things I love?” As if!
So this morning I purposely forced myself to change my viewpoint.
Instead of... he doesn’t want to spend the day with me at the art festival.
I chose… I’m glad he’s happy to let me enjoy the art festival with my friends.
Instead of… he never wants to get out of the house and enjoy the weekend.
I chose… I’m thankful he cares about taking care of the yard and wants to focus on that today.
Instead of… how can our family ever blend if we don’t do stuff together?
I chose… to remember that no family has ALL the same interests or does everything together. Keep your expectations realistic.
You get the idea. I just changed my focus to being thankful that it was a beautiful day and my husband and I were each going to spend it doing what we enjoyed.
I realize that the answer won’t always be as simple as doing our own thing. I will suffer through an occasional baseball game, and he will pretend to enjoy a music festival down the road. Somewhere in between we’ll actually discover other things that we both enjoy. And along the way we’ll learn to love each other’s differences and realize that those differences don’t pull us apart, they draw us together. Just as long as we keep our “stinkin’ thinkin’” in check & remembering to thank God every day for the gift of each other.
(archived from Apr. 22, 2013)