(archived from Nov. 7, 2012)
Sounds like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? I mean, if you love them, how can they be called “enemies”? Well try this on for size… Love your Ex. Ouch! Hey, I’m just the messenger here. This command comes straight from the Bible. Besides, you do want happy, healthy kids, right?!
Whether it’s your own ex-husband or your husband’s ex-wife (I call mine the ex-wife-in-laws, all 3 of them!), here are some simple steps to share the love.
1. NEVER badmouth them. Especially with any child within earshot. If you’ve got to vent, write it down or pray it out. Venting to other people will only serve to get you more riled up.
2. Share information. Send the kids athletics schedules, school play performance info, doctor’s appointments, etc… with the other parents.
Include the grandparents too. Kids from blended families need lots of family attention, so the more people that support them the better.
3. Don’t talk about child support with the kids. They don’t need to know the finances, especially if it’s behind. Who are you hurting by telling the kids they’re not being made a priority? Sometimes you show love best by just keeping your mouth shut.
4. Let go of the past. Remember, we’re all trying to swim upstream in this world of blended families. The past will only drag you under.
5. Pray for your ex. Whatever good things you want for your family, pray those same blessings over your ex. Yes, it’s hard to do sometimes. It gets easier, and it works!
Now don’t think our household is a giant love-fest with all the ex’s. We still disagree. Unexpected issues surface and threaten cat fights from time to time.
Just remember, the children are the priority for ALL of you. Keep that as your focus and let go of your pride. Just think of the life lessons your kids will gain.
What do you do to keep the peace?