Do you have that one thing on your To-Do list that always seems to slip to “tomorrow”? Blogging has become that thing for me. I think about it a lot. I make notes about topics I want to discuss. I even edit pictures that I plan to incorporate into upcoming posts. And then the procrastination sets in. I’ve even thought about giving it up altogether. I mean, this blog started as a hobby. It really shouldn’t be adding stress to my life.
But it isn’t the blog that has been adding stress. The problem was that I stopped wanting to talk about blended families. I stopped feeling like an expert. I stopped thinking I had any valuable information to share. I stopped fighting for my own marriage. In fact, I looked back at my last post… December 28th She Let Go. And I did. I gave up.
I won’t go into the how’s or why’s today. It would take more than a day. In retrospect I realize that for much of the time I was talking about how to have a successful blended family… I wasn’t listening. I was trying to guide others through a forest with my eyes closed. Until I hit a tree. It was a big tree, and I never saw it coming.
So there I was, knocked flat, when two hands reached out to take mine in theirs to gently pull me to my feet. One I expected… God. I had been crying out to Him for a long time, and though I often felt He wasn’t answering, deep down I knew better. He wasn’t responding directly to me. He was working on the person who needed to take my other hand… my husband. Together God and my man are now leading me out of that forest. Their task has not been an easy one. I fought to stay. Even though I hated it there, it was less scary than stepping forward and allowing myself to trust either of them again.
So that’s where we are right now… on a journey of healing. Blogging about this part of the journey is scary too, but I’ve always promised to keep it real. I’ll try to stick to the path. No guarantees.