Today I celebrate 3 years of marriage to my Man! I like to call him that because it sounds so strong, so protective, so everything I never had before.
My Man is quite possibly the polar opposite of my first husband. That is frequently the case with second marriages. We swing completely the other direction personality-wise, trying to make sure we don’t make the same mistakes we made the first time around. What I’ve learned from this is that no matter how different they are, they’re still a lot of work – men and marriages! And they WILL make you crazy in 3 major ways:
1. He doesn’t know how to fill all your needs. Why? Because he’s human. No person can fill every need for another person. God created us to need Him first. When you have needs that aren’t being met, take them to Him. Sometimes your girlfriends can fill in the gaps too… like if it’s just a need for some girl-time. Never turn to another man to fill unmet needs in your marriage. Even if it’s just a friend and both of your intentions are good… it’s not safe, it’s not smart, it’s not going to help your marriage.
2. He doesn’t parent the way you think he should. Sometimes he’ll be too easy on his own kids. Sometimes he’ll be too hard on yours. Some nights he’ll go to bed early, leaving you to make sure kids’ teeth are brushed and prayers are said. Some days he’ll work long hours, and let the kids run rampant without supervision. That’s because he’s human and he makes mistakes. So do you. Forgive, and do better tomorrow.
3. He spends money on stuff you don’t need. Seriously, as if you’ve never made a spur of the moment purchase on something shiny that caught your eye! Money fights are the number ONE cause of divorce so pay close attention. Do a budget. If you don’t know how, take a class. I recommend Dave Ramsey because his Financial Peace University inspired me to cut up every credit card. Like Dave says, “if you don’t tell your money what to do it will leave”. And I’ll add to that, “when it leaves, you will fight.” Be proactive. Make a plan and follow it together.
Sum it up to say that the grass isn’t greener on the other side of the fence. Actually, the greenest grass is the result of fertilized soil, care and hard work. It can be yours.
(archived from July 10, 2013)